I haven't been on here in a long time. I thought I would get on here and do a little update on my life as of lately. I live back in Utah now I am married and I work at a preschool in Ephraim Utah. I love my job and the way my life is headed lately.

You can’t make a heart love somebody….

It’s crazy how you can fall in love with someone with every part of you except your heart.  I fell for Jesse in so many ways. He is the sweetest guy ever. I never knew someone so manly could be so sensitive, and I wanted to marry him so much. The only problem was, I couldn’t convince my heart to love him, and take him for eternity. There is a song by George Strait that comes to mind all the time lately called, “You Can’t Make A Heart Love Somebody.” In the song the guy asks the girl to marry him and she answers him and says…. “I knew this was coming, and I’ve done everything I can think of to make the feelings grow, I’ve begged and I’ve pleaded with my heart, but there’s no gettin’ through. My hearts the only part of me that’s not in love with you. You can’t make a heart love somebody, you can tell it what to do, but it won’t listen at all. You can’t make a heart love somebody, you can lead it to love, but you can’t make it fall.” I know there is a plan and I know I have to trust in it the best that I can. But every once in a while trusting is awful hard to do. My Heart fell head over heels for Derek two years ago, and so did the rest of me. I love everything about him, his family, his annoying sounds, his smile, his laugh, his sense of humor, the way he treats his family, the way he dresses (love all his black shirts.), how he always makes me laugh, how he sings so loud in the car, that he likes Cher, everything. But me loving him isn’t good if he doesn’t feel the same back. As much as I would love to, I can’t make him love me.  I just want to understand why…. Why does it work that way? Why couldn’t I love Jesse like he loved me? And why can’t Derek and I be on the same page at the same time? Haha…. That’s where I have to have faith. I trust in the plan of my Father in Heaven, even though I don’t really know what it is, I trust in it. I am grateful for the experiences I have had. Even though I am dying in some ways inside right now I am grateful. I have been very blessed in so many ways it’s my turn to hurt for a bit. Soon a new door will open and it will be a good one. J

Having the vision to do...

Conference as always was Amazing!! I still miss watching it at the Cluffs house all cuddled up in the play room. Good times with the Best neighbors in the world. This year I watched it in the church sitting next to the English Sisters, Spanish Sisters, and the Elders in Morristown. I love Missionaries!! One of the talks that stood out to me the most was in the sunday afternoon session, by Elder O. Vincent Haleck. He talked about having the vision to do as the Savior would have us do. He said, "If we are to prosper rather than perish, we must gain a vision of ourselves as the Savior sees us." I just kinda felt the world stop right then and there. That is exactly what I needed to hear. It may have hit me different then he intended it to come acrossed for others but for me I heard, "K.D.!!! You are a great daughter and I am proud of you, open your eyes and see yourself as I see you and you will NEVER doubt again." It is so important that we see things the way they are meant to be seen. Look in the mirror and dont just see the outer you... Look inside and then look at your potential. "We experience hard things in our lives that can sometimes diminish our vision and faith to do the things we should. We become so busy that we often feel overwhelmed and unable to do any more. While each of us is different, I humbly submit that we must focus our vision on the Savior and His teachings. The Savior has a great vision of who we can become. It will take faith and courage for us to refocus on the things that matter most in bringing lasting happiness and great joy". WOW isn't that amazing!! I want nothing more then to go away from this feeling better and more courageous then ever before. I am going to do what it takes to live the vision Christ sees for me. I am going to be the best Great I can be. I love my Savior so much and I am so grateful for Him in my life. I am grateful that He sees such a great person in me, a side of me I often let Satan discourage. "I know that as we gain a vision of ourselves as the Savior sees us and as we act on that vision, our lives will be blessed in unexpected ways."

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light”

Have the faith to see youself as the Savior sees you, and  with that the courage to do and act upon those things you know to be right. I am so glad that I have this gospel in my life to help me grow and change daily. Thank you Heavenly Father and Elder O. Vincent Haleck for teaching me this great lesson in Conference. THE CHURCH IS TRUE!!!

Im Engaged!!

When I was 3 I told my dad, "When I grow up I'm gonna marry Jesse Richardson!" Well guess what? Three year olds are pretty smart. Last Tuesday March/6th/2012 Jesse Richardson asked me to marry him!! And I said YES!! It has been quite the roller coaster with Jesse and myself. I have always loved My Jess... He on the other hand has always been a little unsure. He was the first boy I liked, the first boy I held hands with, the first boy I kissed, and the first boy to break my heart. He left to Honduras and I forced myself to let him go.... September 20th(Our birthday) always made me think of him, but I did pretty good. Then with some crazy fate we ran into each other 2 years later on December/22/2011. I was heading to a wedding reception, and Jess was going to a raffle thing at the city building. The reception happened to not be that night (I conveniently read it wrong) Jess couldn't find parking any closer then the church. We just happened to both have bad luck at the same time putting us in a path of the best luck ever. I am so grateful for my miss reading. :) Had that not have happened I would have headed back to New Jersey at not have even seen my Jess. That moment right then changed EVERYTHING for me. I fell right back in love with him. I sat there staring at his truck pull up. At first I wanted to run then I decided to suck it up and atleast say hi. Hi was not enough for me... I couldn't control myself... I looked at him and it just slipped. When people say, "word vommit" well yeah I experienced that right then. Out of my mouth came, "Can I hug you?" I couldn't believe I had said that... Here is this newly returned missionary not to mention the one that ending everything with me before he left and I just asked to hug him. I wanted to run away really bad. But then he pulled me into that BIG bear hug. I felt my entire body go weak and I swaer I could have stayed like that all day. Then I thought, oh great you are gonna put yourself though this again and again.... You are never gonna stop loving this boy are you? And its true I NEVER will. I left him my number and He called the next day. I can't believe how fast we both fell in love.... It is still so unreal. I got asked out on a date by one of my great friends and normally would have been trilled to go, but I didn't want to be with anyone but Jesse. I went and made my sweet little cousin bring Jesse along. They danced together and I danced with my date. Jess and I would just watch each other and smile so big... We were done for. When we finally got a chance to dance with one another everyone else in the room became non existent. When the dance was almost over Jess and I took Brooke(my cousin) home then headed to the temple. We had a great walk hand in hand and we talked anout a lot of things and memories. It was a great night. But it was gonna be the last night for a long time and we both new that. I would be flying back to the East coast the next day. Jesse with a bit of persuasion finally kissed me. :) We might have kissed a few more times before we finally said goodnight. It was like a dream come true for me. I headed back to New Jersey and to my surprise it didnt end there. Jesse emailed me almost daily, then he got a phone and we called each other often. Then over spring break he flew out to visit me for a week. It was a pretty great week. On a great hike in Cheaster New Jersey on March 6th Jesse got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife and spend forever with him. Thats right I am going to marry MY JESSE!! I dont have to get over him or let go this time.. I am finally allowed to Love Jesse.

We wanted really badly to get acrossed to the house on the other side...

Hey here is a way acrossed the river.....

I am making a wish into the wishing well... Completely no clue that in 2 seconds I am going to find Jesse on one knee asking to marry me!!

I think this is about where I start asking are you sure Jess? Haha

If you're a bird, I'm a bird

 

Dancing on the Jersey Shore :)

Tender picture. He Loves pictures even more then me. Its fantastic :) I love this boy... and I am going to marry him!!!

I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior.

I think that’s the greatest gift my Heavenly Father could ever give me—a knowledge, an understanding of the reality of His Son, of the sacrifice He made for me. All other things testify of Him, I’m coming to learn that. I know that it is only in and through Him that I can be made free of my sins, of my afflictions, of my imperfections, of myself. It is only through Him that I can take part in my inheritance as a daughter of my Heavenly Father. “We are in reality Kings and Queens, princes and princesses” (President Uchtdorf). He is my Hope. He is my Life. I would not BE if it were not for Him. My love for the gospel grows so much everyday. I love spending my time serving others, and teaching with the Sister Missionaries. My testimony has grown 100% since I got out here in New Jersey. Actually living in the mission field really does something to you :) Something incredible beyond all reason. I wonder sometimes If I would be a good missionary... Then I realize, Hey I have a testimony, I know the church is true, and I love sharing it with others. I almost think thats enough. I know a mission is for everyone willing to give up their life and serve the Lord. Now it is my time to figure out if I am willing to do that. Its not going to be an easy decision, especially considering how perfect life is right now for me on the East Coast. But its a decision I know I need to make.... So wish me luck. Thanks a bunch!

My Sister Scoville got transferred last week :( She has truly became one of best friends in the world, yet somehow I feel at peace. I feel as if the Lord has comforted me and let me know that her work here is finished, that she has found who she was called here to find, and that I was lucky to have her here for the time I did. It is her job now to go touch others lives the way she has touched mine and so many others here in Morristown. I know that she is doing the Lord’s work. I know He knows what we need and where we need to be. And, if we let Him, He will help us receive a fullness of joy…we just have to turn our will over the Him. I love her and hope to have her friendship Forever!!

Being a Missionary... ish :P

The Adventures of K.D.

So I figured that while being here in New Jersey I would just be the nanny. Take care of the children, play with them and then get off and not know what to do. It is not like that at all though. My days are so full of fun that I honestly never have a moment of boredom out here. I went to institute one fine evening only knowing one soul and left having actual friends. :) It was a great feeling.... Here are some of the fun adventures we have come acrossed together.

These are my 3 best friends out here so far. We do a lot together. There is (left to right) Bailey Baxter, Brittany Checketts, Myself, and Olivia Neighbor. They are great!! I love them all very much. Bailey and I both got here the same week so we are new together. Brittany has saved my life while being out here I owe her big time. And Olivia is like the most fantastic person I have ever known. She has one of those personalities where you wonder why she hasnt just been translated she is so amazing.

We made cardboard cars at a YSA party. It was so much fun!! We made ours a big waggin so the 4 of us could be in it together. :) The party was a drive in movie.

 
 All 4 of us are nannies out here and we are all from Utah. So we made it a Utah Nanny waggin!

Then the weekend came...

And we had a slumber party then arose early the next morning and went and watched the sunrise at the Sandy Hook in New Jersey shore area. :)

 We had a great time.... I am not the best at the jumping photos though, but I tried :)

                                                        So BEAUTIFUL!!!

 The oldest standing working lighthouse in the United States.

Close up of us three :) Not sure what we were doing. Haha

                                                 Gorgeous view of the city

Another Light house... It is actually a twin light house but i didnt get a good picture of it. :(

 This tree was so funny looking to me. Its like growing over the fence. I say it like a fat roll rolling over you belt. I am pushing mine out as well over the fence you see :)